Gameitall Hello Ghouls, we’re coming to a close on our series of ghoulish events, but more gore is needed, so grab your 2×4 and get ready paint the walls in SPLATTERHOUSE
Splatterhouse is a remake of the 1988 Arcade classic which was one of the games we have to thank for the ESRB rating system. The game was a side scrolling beat’em up where you could punch the demon’s head off, use a crowbar or 2×4 to smash him it into the walls where they just slide off leaving their organs splattered, or take Chainsaws and sawed-off shotguns to blast though hideous monsters.
The 2010 Remake of the game, matches this exactly while giving it an updated combat mechanic a la God of War, voice acting, and much, much more Gore.
You play as Rick, a college hipster who is dating the bombshell Jenny (she even got an section in Playboy for promotional use for the game,) how this guy got a girl like her is completely strange, but that’s not the point here. The point is that when you start the game, Rick is dying, impaled though the gut with his intestines hanging out. Fading out of consciousness, Rick hears a voice stating a simple message. “She doesn’t have to die, we can save her.” This is the lure of the Terror mask, an entity who your not entirely sure if he’s on your side or not, but it’s the only thing that you can trust right now.
After a brutal merging scene, it’s time to get down to business as Professor West had kidnap Jenny and plans to use her in a sacrificing ritual to summon the Corrupted, which to put into simple terms, think most of Lovecraft’s Cthulhu work, stuff that if you saw it, your brain would melt out your ears. With the Mask power backing you up, and making you into a Hulk like beast who can regenerate lost limbs and wounds, you go though the West mansion and other wormhole dimensions to stop him.
Fighting in SplatterHouse works exactly as most modern day brawlers, like God of War and Dante’s Inferno. You have a series of commands and combos using a light and heavy attack (as well as modifiers for each of the attacks,) grab, run, block and jump commands. The combat feels fast and fluent, and for once, your using you bare hands to rip apart the monsters. Weapons come into play with the basic assortment of Horror weapons, like meat cleavers, chainsaws, shotguns, and, of course, the series trademake 2×4. They all do a great job of Splattering the walls and destroying everything that stands in the way.
While combat is the main focus of the game, it does break into a few interesting areas of platforming, while far between the constant blood and guts. Puzzles are, well, combat oriented where the answer to every puzzle seems to be blood, and there are classic side Scrolling areas which are just awesome, really brings you back to the old days of SplatterHouse one and two.
Monster design for the game is great, and the blood, while cheezy, looks really good, but graphics is not what sells this game, what does though is the aesthetics. Sound effects are spot on with the deguesting wet sound of chunks of body hitting the wall or the floor, the Heavy metal music of Lamb of God, Mastodon, and Five Finger Death Punch is suited perfectly to this game.
The voice acting, well that is what takes the cake, and most of the time you can’t say that. Jenny, Doctor West, Rick, and the Terror Mask all have amazing voice actors that really sell the role. While the Terror Mask and Rick (your playable characters) are the forefront of the pack, the mask taunting Rick, making him enjoy the killing, and taunting him when ever he dies (favorite line so far is a death screen: “Run towards the light, you F$%king P!$%&y.”) By the way, if you play it you may pick up a little Winnie-the-pooh, Tigger, and Pete (Goof Troop) vibe coming from the actor… Yep, playing this game will ruin your childhood for those characters.
The game has a load of collectables and upgrades to purchase to keep up the replay value. With sexy (and mostly nude) pictures of Jenny as item collectables though out the story mode, the extra brutal combos will keep you searching for more blood to fill, which isn’t a problem. Survival maps get unlocked throughout the game where you have to destroy 20 waves of ever increasing difficulty of monsters. The other big collectable is the entire series is on one disk. Playing though and nearly completing the main story will unlock all three arcade versions of Splatterhouse.
The game is not without it’s flaws, but it makes for a great horror beat-em-up that shouldn’t be missed if your a fan of brawlers.
SplatterHouse 2010 remake: 8/10
Pros: A fun bloody brawler, decent replay value, Amazing sound design and voice acting, great story, original 3 available to be unlocked.
Cons: Repetitive, Not much of a challenge, Ending could have been better, very few boss battles.
